Some of you may remember my post at the beginning of last year detailing my hopes and dreams for 2012. And you may have observed that throughout the year, none of them came to pass.
So, in 2013, I’m going a bit simpler. 2013 will be my year of living. Not living more responsibly, not living stronger, not living harder. Just living.
2012 was filled with challenges and disappointments. One of the most significant moments of my life, my marriage, was surrounded by the rest of my life falling down around my ears. I lost my job and found myself mostly alone in my house. My health dropped dramatically, I had to drain my savings account and max out my credit card trying to keep us afloat. We only worked sporadically, and there was the stress of the wedding itself. It has been a very trying and lonely time and I am immensely grateful for all you guys, who have helped me through. I must admit, I related a hell of a lot to this comic during the past few months.
So, in 2013, I am determined to live properly. I am currently temping and the job market is improving. I have streamlined my daily life. I have emptied my wardrobe of things I no longer wear. I realised how many clothes I truly have – it’s outstanding. I guess now that I found a shop with clothes that fit me correctly, I went a little bonkers. I’ve also put a ban on myself buying Lush products – I have far too many half-full containers. I also have too much nail polish.
I’ve started to wear make-up – it makes me feel better at work (fluorescent lights can be harsh!) and I like experimenting with it. I’m learning slowly to cook and meal plan. I’m learning the value of stackable storage containers. I’m trying to interact with my internet buddies much more than usual, instead of staying silent. I’m learning to pluck up the courage to talk to strangers at parties. I’m saving for my honeymoon.
The goal is to stop worrying, stop consuming mindlessly and to stop being quite so slothful. I want to enjoy life, not be shy or ashamed of myself, and stop living in shambolic, student-y chaos. And, my ultimate goal this year is very easy: I’m going to write a book. I say that every year, but this time I mean it. I’m going to do it.
But, I can’t do all these things by myself. All your love, support and friendship means the world to me, even though I may be poor at expressing it. I can do this. We can do this. It’ll be awesome.
<3
I think its important to remember that last year you also started a united degree which was something of a big achievement for you. Its easy to forget all the good amongst the bad.
Maybe keep a jar and fill it full of good things you are greatful for and then at the end of the year… or whenever you feel down really, sift through it to pick you up again.
Also, if you need help or support you need to reach out. If you ever need to talk you can call me, you know that right?
Here’s to a hopefully awesome year for you.
One thing I forgot to mention is that I’ve withdrawn from the prep course. I have enough stress on my plate as it is and I’m doing it for the wrong reasons. I feel much better for doing it.
My counsellor suggested doing the same thing, only with a green box. It sounds a good idea.
I know, thanks :)
I wish you positive energy and good things for 2013! I hope you can wish the same for me, 2012 was a tough year …this one will be better! Smiles!