Writer’s block is the bane of my fucking existence!

When I was a teenager my writing was prolific. Profundities didn’t flow from my fingertips all the time, though – most of it was terrible. But writing filled a void, it met an emotional need. I was scared and alone, so writing was an escape, and a great channel for both my feelings and for creating a fantasy world where I was happy.

Then, I became an adult (allegedly). My life got better. I didn’t need the emotional crutch. And when things got bad, I just ate a lot of icecream instead. It’s been about five years since I wrote properly, just had words pouring out. But ever since I stopped, it’s been a complete drought. I no longer carry notebooks filled with scrawls and half-baked ideas. I can read a book before bedtime without staying up all night, ideas swirling in my head. I’ve come a long way since I was a teenager, lonely and discarded, in an isolated, violent town, seeing things no one ever should, so lost. Now I’m in the city, surrounded by family and friends, a good job, planning my wedding. But I still feel like a large part of myself is lost. Writing used to be my best friend.

In my job, a large part of my work is communications. I need to write constantly. I write invitations, thank you letters, newsletters, website content, emails, edit reports. I’m in the business sector so I’ve almost had to learn another language (operationalise? commercialisable?) but I was hired on the strength of a test report I wrote for an event. But the block is not only affecting my personal writing, but my business writing too. I can’t find the right words. I can’t string sentences together. I used to form complete ideas, but now I have to struggle to express them clearly. Gone are the days where I used to have fully formed passages jump into my head in the middle of the night. I don’t keep a notepad and pen by my bedside any more.

I know I just have to keep writing, keep practicing, but it seems like I’ve been out for so long I can’t start again. What can I do? Is there anything to do?

Yours, in perplexity.

Advertisements