So, it’s 2012. New Year’s Eve was spent in a beautiful lazy blur, with my friends, food and video games. We stood barefooted on the street, in the perfect weather, watching scores of illegal firework displays around us, including two at opposite ends of our street. It was a lovely, fun, understated start to the year which brought back nice memories of my suburban upbringing. I’m hoping that it sets the tone for the rest of the year, because otherwise it’s been a bit crap so far.

I’m still reeling from being told that my company is going under, and I’ll be out of a job come March. Chris has completed his six-month contract with the dancing ice chickens. It’s also less than six months to the wedding and I need to finish my myriad projects. The timing couldn’t be worse. I booked a holiday the day before I found out, which was expensive and sometimes not quite enjoyable. We’re getting married, neither of us have jobs and nowhere to live. I admit I’m being less than calm.

I’m trying to make it through slowly, one step at a time. I’m edging closer to completion for my wedding projects, and my friends and family are really coming through – a friend offered me the use of her father’s vintage Jaguars! My boss has encouraged me to keep searching for flats, which is actually sound advice. And if I’m successful, it will boost my morale no end. I’ve applied for a few jobs and will continue to apply, and work has been very supportive. It’s tough but I think, with a few strokes of luck, I’ll make it.

To cope, I’ve been buying or downloading books. Since Christmas, I guess I’ve bought/downloaded/received about 20 books, and I’ve read about 5. Most were great, one was crap, but that’s the way it goes. I’m reading fiction again too, which is exciting (and I might talk about further anon).

I’m determined to make massive changes, in addition to all the changes happening already. This year, I will become a completely new person – literally. I will leave my family and create a new family of my own. I will change my name. I will be catapulted headlong in the world of adulthood, kicking and screaming. I have had other brushes like this – leaving home for the first time, living overseas and the like – but this will be different. I can’t come home again. But I’m not scared. I’m well and truly ready. There will be no more fights over the washing up, no looking after cats that aren’t mine with dodgy digestive systems, no more people to tell me to stop singing, and I can hang MY artwork on the walls instead of a bland piece that matches the couch. (Ah, mums.) I’ll also be learning how to cook (and eat) properly. There might even be hints of *gasp* exercise. And, the biggie: I’ll be with my husband. For someone who never even considered the possibility of marriage, that’s pretty impressive. I’ve always wanted to meet someone, but from an early age I was convinced I wouldn’t. But here I am.

So, I’ve had a rough start to the year. But I can’t wait to see how it ends.

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